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terribleturnip

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Job was a wuss [May. 14th, 2008|09:49 am]
terribleturnip
Note: for those of you doing the "Which Shakespeare Play are You" meme, I came out as a Problem Play -- that group of plays that are hard to categorize because they are not comedy, not tragedy, but contain strong elements of both.



Rotten day on Monday -- pecked to death by ducks at work and unable to make progress on any of the contracts I really, really need to be wrapping up. Various amounts of drama where I tried to make things better via a quick e-mail and wound up making them worse. And feeling down -- I'd forgotten to coat my shoes and socks with poison bug death spray so every insect at Lake Anna Winery crawled into my clothes and bit me just hard enough to make giant itchy welts. It's just so hard to feel competent or in control when all you can think about is "DO NOT SCRATCH IT"....which just makes me want to scratch it more...

And of course, totally sleep deprived because Percy had the big D all weekend, so I never got more than 2-3 hours sleep in a row. And I have now officially determined that I can handle anything given enough sleep.

So, rotten day, rotten traffic, I get a call that the giantass Big Blue Tent that is the pub at Faire, because of all of the rain and mud, it's giantass structural steel 18 inche stakes are pulling out of the ground and it's coming down. And I know I must have been feeling low because when I said to the man reporting the problem "We have two options. One is that you're going to tell me that you can fix it and handle it and everything's going to be all right. The other is that I'm going to get back in my car, garden hose the exhaust in and roll up all of the windows." And he didn't even joke, but rushed to tell me that it was going to be all right, he had a solution, etc.

When I'm confronted with a problem and I don't get angry, laugh, swear or make a joke, apparently I'm really, really scary.

So now I've got that riding on my shoulders as I come through the door, realizing from the nearness of the dog barking that I failed to put the gate up on the stairs so that means that Willow has peed on the living room carpet (thus the gate) and I think that's bad until I open the door and am assaulted

No, ASSAULTED.

By the odor of a greyhound digestive system gone terribly awry. The dogs can't wait to get out the door, and I can't blame them. There is a bucket. A large bucket of poo all over the kitchen.

And here's how low my bar on good news was that day, my friends.

I was pretty damn pleased that at least he'd gone on the linoleum and not the carpet. And ECSTATIC that when I slipped and fell, I landed on a part of the kitchen floor I'd cleaned.

Yay!

Face down on the kitchen floor, lying with my face mere inches from a puddle of poo, and I'm thinking well, at least the small is better lower to the ground and wow, I can't believe I didn't land in the muck!

I am OWED no rain this weekend. Do you hear me?
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: pyllgrum
2008-05-14 04:22 pm (UTC)
And here's how low my bar on good news was that day, my friends.

I was pretty damn pleased that at least he'd gone on the linoleum and not the carpet. And ECSTATIC that when I slipped and fell, I landed on a part of the kitchen floor I'd cleaned.

Yay!

Face down on the kitchen floor, lying with my face mere inches from a puddle of poo, and I'm thinking well, at least the small is better lower to the ground and wow, I can't believe I didn't land in the muck!


You are SUCH a Pollyanna!!
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[User Picture]From: chellebelle74
2008-05-14 04:33 pm (UTC)
I totally understand - when my cats puke on the kitchen tile or the pergo rather than the carpet I've been know to do a happy dance.

As for all the rest of it, you have much admiration from this end of the tent. I wish I could do something to help, but I'm pretty swamped too. ::hug::
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[User Picture]From: lowlandscot
2008-05-14 05:19 pm (UTC)
I think you need to convert a spare bedroom into one of these and put your dogs in it when you leave the house.
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[User Picture]From: toxins
2008-05-14 07:12 pm (UTC)
So let me get this straight. You have the kids because you feel you don't have enough to do. So they help out by spewing bodily fluids everywhere for you???
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From: pyrateatlarge
2008-05-14 10:00 pm (UTC)
. . .and why do you rescue these animals again? I just need to hear it one more time.
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[User Picture]From: terribleturnip
2008-05-15 12:40 pm (UTC)
Hey, it could be worse, I could have PAID money to buy them. I'm pretty sure that rescue dogs don't poo or vomit any less than purchased dogs.

Besides, pets teach us two things: what unconditional love is and what humility is.

Which is why as I get older, I may have to violate my personal rule about owning a gun. Unless our society suddenly becomes more humane, I want the option to not have to impose my incontinent, addled, poo-ing self on others.

On the bright side, since Monday night I've been cooking homemade meals for them and all inappropriate orifice spewing has stopped. Because i have time to cook for the dogs....but it's better than the alternative.
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