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A force we need to harness - It seemed like a good idea at the time... [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
terribleturnip

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A force we need to harness [Jun. 19th, 2008|04:59 pm]
terribleturnip
You know, that anti-gravity thing your bathroom trashcan has -- that repels Q-tips and the little bandaid paper strips? At first I thought it was just cleverness on the part of the bandaid people -- that they amused themselves designing all of the bandaid packaging so that it would refuse to move in a straight line from your hand to the trash can, taking a quick zig-zag at the last minute to land on the floor.

But no, I can land that stuff in the kitchen trash can everytime. So, clearly we're talking about a special repellent force that the bathroom trash can has. I have no other explanation for the pile of bathroom detritus that gathers AROUND the bathroom trash can.

(Yes, I am a pig. I launch something at the can, it doesn't land IN the can, and sometimes I just leave it there for a day or two. Or three. Or when faire is over. Let me assure you, it's not because I delight in squalor. Or even because of The Lazy. It's pique, pure and simple. FINE. You just lay there, NEXT to the can.)

But, really, thanks to one of my colleagues, I have found a new use for this bathroom trash can force: Install it on the toilet seats in the ladies room so that when some expletive deleted expletive COW pees on the freaking seat, it's repelled right back up at her girlies.

That'll fix her.
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Comments:
From: kudrasslipper
2008-06-20 01:46 am (UTC)
I'm right there with you, and not just in terms of the cow's wet panties. (seriously... how much bacteria can be on the back of your thighs or anyone else's? UNLESS people are crouching 8 inches above the damn toilet seat - cuz then EVERYONE will have bacteria on the back of their thighs. Ugh. Just sidown, bitch!)

The little plastic covers on my tampons? (I only use o.b. tampons... not the paper covered ones with applicators. Boy is that another soap box of mine..... but I digress. Again.) They won't land in the garbage can no matter how hard you try. Your hand can be all the way IN the garbage can and they'll fly up and out as if it were being yanked out by an invisible string. Now, I know it has something to do with static electricity and negatively charged electrons, but I'll leave the science to skivvy or pyllgrum.

I'm not going to even START talking about the hair.
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[User Picture]From: terribleturnip
2008-06-20 12:05 pm (UTC)
Oh, damn, there's Diet Mountain Dew all over my computer screen -- and several o.b. wrapper pieces clinging valiantly to the wall right above the trash can at home. I actually looked at them this morning and thought "oh, I don't have time to do battle with them right now..."
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[User Picture]From: chellebelle74
2008-06-20 02:32 am (UTC)
Brilliant!! You are a genius and deserve to be worshipped. Seriously, those @#$%^ cows deserve to get soaked.
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[User Picture]From: mistressfetch
2008-06-20 02:50 pm (UTC)
So your Willow vacuum is broken? :-)

Don't get me started on women who pee on toilet seats! You KNOW how I feel about that subject :-)

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