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Oh, the Drama! [Sep. 11th, 2008|08:47 am]

What drama? I dunno, I'm always blissfully ignorant. If I have a problem with you, what you're doing, I'm going to tell YOU. Not anyone else. And then I'll decide if I can live with it and still be your friend. And generally, unless you're hurting a child or animal...I can live with it, although I reserve the right to call you out privately as often as I see fit/you can stand.

If you don't want to be my friend...I don't care. I may not get the hint. Or I may then frantically amuse myself by trying to engage you in social interaction to see if I can make you uncomfortable. Because I'm all about the polite...and I have a mean streak a mile long. Deadly combination.

It's really hard to offend me. I don't think of myself as a dog person, but clearly I share some dog-like qualities. (Go ahead, get the bad dog joke out of your head...) "Hey, hey, hi Bob, how are ya? Ouch. Why the hell did he kick me?" Next day: "Hey, hey, hi Bob, how are ya?"

I have a masters degree in the eye-roll, the shoulder shrug, the "what-ever". I have my own stuff to do and worry about. I've spent years in jobs/volunteer positions where I have to make unpopular decisions, enforce evil edicts, be the "bad guy" and people either get over it and stop blaming me personally...or they don't. And there's not a damn thing I can about it, except quit. And there are plenty of reasons to quit, but making other people like me....isn't on the list. Especially since I'm such a dork, I'm sure I'd wind up causing offense some other way.

And I can forgive. I don't know that I ever really forget, but I do forgive. Just because you're an alarming a-hole today...doesn't mean you'll always be one. I may not be able to trust you as far as I can throw you and would never share personal info, but you're funny as hell and I'll wholeheartedly enjoy your company for that. There's my Labrador Retriever coming out again...

Of course, my stunning lack of empathy could also be why no one tells me anything. I get that. I'm also oblivious as hell. I could be the very epicenter of drama and just be too stupid to notice. Don't let me mislead you that I have some special talent here. I could well be a quadriplegic wondering why no one will dare to race her in a 200 yard freestyle race. "You would sink, what's the point?" Oh, I dunno, I chuckle, I'll bet I could make a pretty good swim of it. I have some theories and I think I float pretty fast.....

But other than those reasons (and again, I ain't lecturing those of you who are suffering from the drama -- this is me pondering why it never seems to bother/touch me. My journal, about ME) I do have one story to share that I would recommend everyone carry around in their heart and head. Maybe it will make some of it less painful. Because, even though my empathy pouch is small and often empty, I do hate to see other people get hurt.

There were two monks waiting on a street corner where there was a good deal of flooding. A beautiful girl was standing there trying to get across but was unable to. One of the monks seeing the situation quickly picked up the girl, carried her across the water and placed her down on a dry spot. The other monk meanwhile was thinking -- how could he do that -- we’ve taken priestly vows not to look at beautiful women let alone hold them close to our bodies and on and on.

A few miles down the road the second monk could no longer contain himself and began to berate the first monk who had assisted the girl. After the berating had stopped the first monk turned to the second and said, “I put the girl down 3 miles back. How come you are still carrying her?”

I love that story and hold it close to my heart.

[User Picture]From: sestree
2008-09-11 01:33 pm (UTC)


Where's my sense of humour?

OMG She *is* talking about me.

You're not serious are you? Really?


For the most part drama rarely touches me because I'm oblivious. We all loved TWG but she was a drama queen par excellance. Therefore you gotta top her before I notice and she set one helluva act to follow at times.


Great story btw - and one I'd not heard before.

OMG you weren't talking about me though were you? Are you sure? OUCH quit kicking me .........

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[User Picture]From: terribleturnip
2008-09-11 01:43 pm (UTC)

Re: Wait

I'm so drowning you in Coors....
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[User Picture]From: sestree
2008-09-11 01:47 pm (UTC)

Re: Wait


At least my hair would be silky shiney soft.
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[User Picture]From: chellebelle74
2008-09-11 02:53 pm (UTC)
Thank you.... I was considering sending an email to someone because I felt something he posted in his journal (about me) was just plain WRONG and I was working up a real head of steam. But looking at it objectively, he meant no harm and I really don't think anyone who knows me well will think much of what he said. So an email to him would have been starting drama. You saved me... *sniff* I love you, man....
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[User Picture]From: terribleturnip
2008-09-11 02:58 pm (UTC)
Any time precious. That brings up another few mantras I have that tend to keep me out of trouble..."Does it really matter in the grand scheme of things?" "Is it worth the trouble?" and "What is my goal, here?" With the last one, I've found that my inner four year old often answers "To be rightest!" which is a clear sign that I should shut the hell up and drop whatever I was about to do.

On the other hand, maybe I don't get so much drama because I'm too busy having these internal Q&A sessions....grin
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From: faithellen
2008-09-11 03:10 pm (UTC)
Also "is this the hill I want to die on?"
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[User Picture]From: terribleturnip
2008-09-11 06:23 pm (UTC)
I've got other windmills to tilt....
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From: faithellen
2008-09-11 03:09 pm (UTC)
I shed most of my drama-for-drama's-sake contacts years ago. But I've still got people I'm connected to that I won't remove from my friends list, because I don't want to deal with the "OMG she unfriended me" drama. Granted, the reason I want to remove them is their drama. And I've pondered a little "it's not you, it's me" disclaimer, but the truth is that it IS them, insofar as I've decided it's no longer amusing/relevant/tolerable/whatevs to ME. And it does feel like a passive aggressive action on my part.

Then I berate myself for the tightness in my chest when I imagine (over and over and over again) actually being honest and direct about why. Because, really, what's the point? It *might* make me feel better, although that feeling would have to trump a LOT of discomfort for being confrontational in the first place. It would *definitely* make the other person feel badly. And to what end?

I think I have iss-yoos.
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[User Picture]From: skivee
2008-09-11 05:46 pm (UTC)

Oh, you like dramatic stories?

Perhaps you have heard this before. Even so, the essential message remains.

A young samurai was walking along the beach of a northern province. Feeling very sure of his great fighting skills, he was looking for anyone to fight. He was known for his crass spirit.
In the distance, he saw an old man approaching. He proved to be an elder member of a rival clan.
The young man, whose name was Ota, drew his katana and challenged his opponent with great insult.
The old man's sword was out and ready with such speed that Ota was filled with fear.
They stood motionless on the beach, in saiza position as the tide moved in. After many minutes, the old man spoke. "The tide rises, and I should prefer to not allow my hakama to get wet...and besides, you are not ready.
With the smallest of smirks, he resheathed his sword and continued around the petrified youth.
As he passed the young foolish samauri, the old man loudly passed wind, drew his flashing sword again and cut the bully through the neck, killing him instantly.
If there is a moral to this story, it is that youthful enthusiasm can be overcome by old farts and ancient cunning.
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[User Picture]From: terribleturnip
2008-09-11 06:24 pm (UTC)

Re: Oh, you like dramatic stories?

Yes, Master.
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